Trump Hotel Reportedly Raised Its Rates to Keep QAnon Trump Supporters Out and…LOL!

Illustration for article titled Trump Hotel Reportedly Raised Its Rates to Keep QAnon Trump Supporters Out and...LOL!

Photo: Mark Tenally (AP)

So apparently, Washington, D.C.’s Trump International Hotel raised its prices in March in order to deter QAnon Trump supporters from visiting, and…my God, that’s hilarious. Imagine a cult leader telling his loyal cultists: “Loving me is free, but if you want to come to my house and stink up my furniture, well, that’s going to cost you!”

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The Guardian reports that Trump International raised its rates to a whopping 180 percent of what it usually charges on March 3 and 4 of this year. Why those dates specifically? Well, apparently, March 4 is the day some QAnon conspiracy theorists believe the spirit of Donald Trump’s presidency would be resurrected from the hell of whence it came, and Orange Julius Cesar would be sworn in as president of the United States once again “based on an interpretation of the US constitution influenced by a belief held by many ‘sovereign citizens’ that the US government was secretly usurped by a foreign corporation in 1871, and all legal and constitutional changes since that date are illegitimate,” according to the Guardian.

Even if you subscribe to that ridiculous interpretation of the constitution, it wouldn’t make sense that it would only apply to a single Tang-flavored former president who lost his re-election. Then again, this is the QAnon crowd we’re talking about. These are the same people who actually praised South Park for mocking them because at least their ideals got some free promotion. DO Y’ALL UNDERSTAND HOW FUCKED UP CULT MEMBERS HAVE TO BE WHEN THEY CAN’T DISTINGUISH THEIR REALITY FROM SOUTH PARK SATIRE??

Anyway, here’s how the price hike was uncovered as reported by the Guardian:

Police intelligence documents show that Washington’s Trump Hotel raised its rates “as a security tactic”, in the hope of deterring Trump-supporting QAnon supporters from staying there in early March, on a day which some believed would see Trump restored to office.

The information, which police gleaned from a Business Insider version of a story published in Forbes on 6 February, was confirmed in an 8 February intelligence briefing stolen by ransomware hackers from Washington’s Metropolitan police department (MPD).

The swearing-in date of US presidents was 4 March until the passage of the 20th amendment in 1933, and believers thought that Trump would restore his presidency and constitutional government on that date in Washington.

While Forbes suggested that the rate hike might be “price gouging or simply opportunistic marketing”, the internal police document said “MPD’s intelligence division confirmed with Trump Hotel management that they raised their rates as a security tactic to prevent protesters from booking rooms at their hotel should anyone travel to DC”.

Come on, y’all—you have to see the pure comedy in this.

I mean, I understand that Trump isn’t personally involved in the day-to-day operations of every property that is named for him and his legacy, but for a Trump supporter, this has to look like Jesus charging admission to his own resurrection because when he asked “who all gon’ to be there” from the grave, he found out devout Christians would be showing up in droves and he said, “Nah, we can’t have this.”

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Mind you, the uncovered document reportedly noted that the hotel was “not aware of any credible information regarding an event actually taking place on that date”, and that “none of the hotels in [Washington] are showing any noticeable increase in hotel reservations for this timeframe.” In other words: The hotel didn’t even have any reason to believe that the QAnon-sense party would show up for the return of their copper-colored commander-in-chief, but they hiked the price for a room up anyway to make damn sure that the residents of conservative crazy town stayed TF home.

I’m sorry, this shit is funny.

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