Ohio Rep. Jim Jordan Wants to Have a Hearing on ‘Cancel Culture,’ Because Jim Jordan Is a Goddamn Idiot

Illustration for article titled Ohio Rep. Jim Jordan Wants to Have a Hearing on ‘Cancel Culture,’ Because Jim Jordan Is a Goddamn Idiot

Photo: Joe Raedle (Getty Images)

Rep. Jim Jordan (R-Ohio) is the congressman who refuses to wear a blazer. As such he’s earned the moniker “Jacketless Jim Jordan.” Jim Jordan is also the former assistant wrestling coach at Ohio State accused of aiding in a coverup of sexual assaults by team doctor Dr. Richard Strauss, who reportedly abused team members from the mid-1970s to late 1990s.

So Jim Jordan is trash. He’s always been trash. In fact, go over to your trash can right now and ask the contents how it feels about Jim Jordan and your own trash will tell you that Jim Jordan is family.

In case you have trouble figuring out who Jim Jordan is, just know that he is the whiny white guy who is caping for Trump and yelling about how stupid democracy is. No, not that whiny white guy; you’re thinking of South Carolina Senator Lindsey Graham. And no, not that whiny white guy either as that’s Nestor’s papa, Rep. Matt Gaetz (R-FL.) Forget it.

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Anyway, Jim Jordan wants to take on “cancel culture. Like, he literally wants to have a congressional investigation into people not fucking with other people they find to be fucked up. Did I mention that Jim Jordan is a goddamn idiot?

Apparently, white people hate being forgotten. White Freaknik, aka the Conservative Political Action Conference, was called “America Uncanceled” because white people (some, not all) believe that you shouldn’t be able to turn the channel when the people on the screen disgust you.

How Jim Jordan plans to un-cancel American thoughts is higher than my paygrade, but he’s apparently serious. So serious that he sent a letter to House Judiciary Chair Jerry Nadler (D-N.Y.), requesting a hearing to “address the scourge of cancel culture” in the United States — a “dangerous trend” of “silencing and censoring certain political speech.”

“Cancel culture’s long-term consequences to our democracy and our constitutional framework are serious and substantial,” warned Jordan, HuffPost reports.

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“We must fight this trend before it is too late,” Jordan added, apparently upset that his lord and savior Donald J. Trump was banned from Twitter and Facebook for inciting violence.

Is now the time for me to mention that a Black rapper was canceled from the “America Uncanceled” lineup for anti-Semitic tweets?

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It didn’t take long for Twitter to clown the fuck out of Jim Jordan for wasting his time worrying about cancel culture, which despite its new rebranding attempts, has been around since Judas canceled Jesus.

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Did I mention that Jim Jordan is a fucking idiot?

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