Tag: self help

You Can Find Peace in Difficult Times

Where can you squeeze in these moments? It only takes a news report or controversial comment to see that problems today are very real. And these are important. Doing what you can when you can is one way to achieve peace about issues. Plan and make your efforts as meaningful as possible. The feeling of […]

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Personal Boundaries and Building Self Love

Boundaries are in place from early in your life and are taught and learned in childhood. Social learning theorist Albert Bandura (1977) often spoke on his theory of modeling and imitation which can extend to teaching concepts such as boundaries. For example, if caregivers model and teach firm boundaries for themselves and their children, then […]

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Why Deep Breathing Helps Calm Anxiety

Deep Abdominal Breathing Reduces Anxiety and Stress According to the American Institute of Stress, 20-30 minutes of deep breathing daily is effective in reducing both anxiety and stress. It has to be breathing deeply through the abdomen to produce the best results. What happens during deep abdominal breathing is that the oxygen breathed in stimulates […]

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Are You Able to Receive or Are You Just Taking?

If our religious or cultural upbringing taught us that receiving means we’re selfish, then this belief may disallow us from letting in good things. In addition, we may carry emotional wounds that make it challenging to receive. Our love receptors may have atrophied if we grew up with lots of shaming, criticism, or abuse. We […]

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Challenging the Negative Stories We Tell Ourselves   

Communicating Through Narratives Our culture is permeated with narratives. All stories — whether they’re romance, adventure, or action — are built on an arc where the struggles, conflicts, and challenges introduced are worked out in a final resolution. As humans, we are naturally drawn to this story arc. It forms a recognizable pattern that we […]

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The Power of Creativity in Stressful Times and How to Cultivate It

Creativity can also calm us. As Amy Maricle noted, “As an art therapist, I can say that when you’re feeling stressed, sad, or angry, there’s a lot of satisfaction in being able to express what you’re feeling in words, images, or shapes, and then slowly transform it through paint or collage.” Research has even found […]

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I Think I’m Calm, So Why Do I Feel Anxious?

It’s a frustrating and confusing way to exist. Unfortunately, when there are events that affect the world around us on a large scale, and over which we have no control, this feeling isn’t uncommon. Many of us are existing in a heightened state of anxiety right now. It’s no wonder — coronavirus, earthquakes, riots, and, […]

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How Could I Have Done What I Did? (And How to Get Out of This Mess)

I definitely do not speak to you in judgment, but in compassion. We’ve all done things that we later regretted, to a greater or lesser degree. Many people have walked the path of despair, the path of embarrassment, shame, or disgrace. And, if you’re like me, you don’t want to feel so out of control. […]

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How to Make the Most of Online Therapy

Ask questions. If you’re new to teletherapy, you might have many questions about how the process works—from How private is it? to Can I text or email you between sessions? to What are the risks? Don’t hesitate to ask your questions, even if they feel silly, awkward, or obvious. Because they’re not. Reflect on the […]

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Living in the Now while Dealing with Distress

Looking around, I know others are as well. Even the people I know who practice living in the here and now and meditate on a daily basis suffer from the bows and arrows of both life circumstances and inner emotional pain. So… how can we deal the reality of hardship while striving to thrive in […]

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How Shame Shapes Our False Self

Famed psychologist Carl Rogers often urged us to live in manner that he calls “congruent.” This means that what we express is in harmony with what we are feeling inside. If we’re feeling angry or hurting, we acknowledge and honor that; we don’t flash a smile or pretend we’re fine. Being congruent means having the […]

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Podcast: Reduce Daily Worry by Navigating the Noise

What can we do about it? Can we make our brain a more positive ally? Tune in for a great discussion on reigning in your inner critic. SUBSCRIBE & REVIEW Guest information for ‘Kevin Stacey- Reduce Daily Worry’ Podcast Episode Kevin Stacey, MBA, is an effectiveness expert, author, and former brain imaging specialist who removes […]

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Restorative Steps for Healing through Racial Trauma, Systemic Mis-attunement, and Grief

Racial trauma is a result of pervasive exposure to prejudice and discrimination as a direct result of one’s skin color. Systemic mis-attunement is the direct result of society’s recurrent act of being dismissive and uncaring as to the basic physiological, emotional, psychological, and social needs of People of Color (i.e., Black people). The complex racial trauma […]

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Five Steps White People (Myself Included) Can Take in Response to Systemic Racism

Anti-Racist Resources from Greater Good Science Center at UC Berkeley The Big Talk Round Table: A Conscious Conversation I Don’t Need ‘Love’ Texts From My White Friends: I need them to fight anti-blackness by Chad Sanders White Fragility by Robin DiAngelo, PhD (physical book is currently sold out, but the audiobook and ebook are available […]

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Here’s How You Can Define ‘Being Nice’ on Your Own Terms

Do you view yourself as “nice”? Do others describe you as “nice”? Do you always enjoy being “nice”? If you are unsure how you are perceived by others, ask friends and family to describe you. I’ve been told how nice I am all my life, by family, friends, coworkers, and even bosses. It was a […]

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Are You Being Constrained by an Unrecognized Emotion?

Of all our human emotions, perhaps shame is the most hidden, the most tricky, and the most difficult to work with. Workshop leaders Bret Lyon and Sheila Rubin refer to shame as “a powerful, universal, mysterious emotion” that is “incredibly painful and destructive.” Everyone is prone to experience it. And for many of us — […]

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Getting Unstuck: Do You Want to Be the Agent of Change or its Victim?

I suspect most people don’t look at life this way. They just merrily stumble along in their lives, unaware that they actually have a lot more control about things than they realize. Sure, we’re all a product of our upbringing, our horrible (or great) parents, and our genetics. But despite all those things, everyone still […]

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Staying Home Doesn’t Have to Mean Being Alone

Researchers have reported in the Journal of Infection (August, 2006) that over 60% of respondents cared more about their family member’s feelings. About 30-40% found their friends and family members more supportive. About 2/3 of those interviewed paid more attention to their mental health. And around 35-40% of participants in the survey reported taking more […]

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Journal Prompts to Help You Process Your Emotions

Journaling validates our emotions and reconnects us to what’s real. It removes the added layer of self-judgment—in contrast to talking about our emotions, which can lead to “editing ourselves,” said Lauren Cook, MFT, a Los-Angeles-based clinician working with individuals, couples, children, and families. Journaling also allows us to “release” our difficult emotions and discover insights […]

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You are Special, Just Like Everyone Else!

It’s one thing to want to feel special to our partner, family, and friends. It’s quite another to want to be a special person. I’ve often seen clients who’ve been trained to believe that they’re better than others. Believing that we’re superior — or that we should be — is a heavy burden to bear.  […]

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Are you Feeling Emotionally Exhausted during the Pandemic? You May Be Experiencing Burnout

I know I am not alone. I am constantly hearing the same message from patients, colleagues, family and friends. Our lives have been turned upside down from the pandemic. We long for this bad dream to end and for everything to return back to normal.  What is Burnout? The term “burnout” is a relatively new […]

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3 Ways to Jump-Start Your Creativity During Coronavirus

Unfortunately, it’s not always easy to create when you’re living in a pandemic. If you’re finding it difficult to be creative during COVID-19, please know that you’re not alone. It can feel impossible to connect with our imagination when our mind is consumed with ever-changing shelter-in-place orders, working from home, homeschooling children, worrying about our […]

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Quarantine as an Opportunity: Embracing the ‘Pause’ and Coming Back to Yourself

It’s an odd time, to be sure. We find ourselves forced into unexpected isolation. But there is a difference between being lonely and being alone. I wonder what healing we would find if we shifted our perspective and saw this as a gift of solitude and retreat, a unique opportunity for withdrawal from the daily […]

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