Tag: Parenting

How Parents Are Helping Their Young Adult Children — and Getting Judged for It

If you are a parent helping your young adult children and you feel judged, it is not your imagination. This summer (2019), the Pew Research Center asked members of their American Trends Panel whether they thought that the parents of young adults, ages 18 to 29, were doing too much for them, too little, or […]

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Ohio High School Plans to Drug-Test All Students at Least Once a Year

In an effort to discourage drug use and vaping, a Catholic high school in Ohio has announced plans to begin testing its students for drugs and nicotine, joining what education professionals are calling a growing trend. Administrators at Stephen T. Badin High School in Hamilton, Ohio, said in a letter to parents this week that […]

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Why White Parents Were at the Front of the Line for the School Tour

There is a trick to getting to the front of the lines that clog sidewalks outside New York City’s top public high schools each fall. Parents who pay $200 for a newsletter compiled by a local admissions consultant know that they should arrive hours ahead of the scheduled start time for school tours. On a […]

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‘Kramer vs. Kramer’ vs. ‘Marriage Story’

This essay includes spoilers for “Marriage Story.” In Noah Baumbach’s film “Marriage Story,” Nicole (Scarlett Johansson) explains to her divorce lawyer, Nora (Laura Dern), why she’s ending her marriage. In the early stages of their relationship, Nicole abandoned an acting career in Hollywood to move to New York City with her husband, Charlie, an up-and-coming […]

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When Your Tween Wants to Conform to the VSCO Girl Trend

“Can I use my saved allowance to buy a Pura Vida bracelet?” my 12-year-old daughter asked this past August. I didn’t think twice about saying yes. It was $12. But then I learned that these colorful bracelets — made by artisans in Costa Rica — are part of the larger “VSCO girl” trend, an “effortless, […]

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An ODD Diagnosis Doesn’t Make Your Child “Bad”

One unintended effect of putting the ODD label on a child, in my experience, is that it makes parents feel like something is intrinsically wrong with their child — and wrong with them as parents. The ODD diagnosis can also cloud the process of figuring out why a child is struggling and how to best […]

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Getting a Handle on Self-Harm

The sensations surged up from somewhere inside, like poison through a syringe: a mix of sadness, anxiety, and shame that would overwhelm anyone, especially a teenager. “I had this Popsicle stick and carved it into sharp point and scratched myself,” Joan, a high school student in New York City said recently; she asked that her […]

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A Surprising Finding on Paid Leave: ‘This Is Not the Way We Teach This’

One of the biggest arguments for paid leave for new parents has been an economic one: Research has repeatedly shown that women with paid time off after childbirth are more likely to keep working. But a new study, the largest to be done in the United States, found the opposite. In California, which in 2004 […]

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Early Motherhood Has Always Been Miserable

There are two diametrically opposed concepts of motherhood that dominate conversation in America today. There’s the Instagram influencer’s vision of the ideal mother with perfectly groomed, smiling children set against a backdrop of high-end appliances. And there’s the gritty real talk of comedians and writers like Ali Wong, who described her early days of motherhood […]

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When a Dad’s Secret Changes Everything

“I won’t be mad,” I said to my boyfriend. “I’ll understand. Really.” “I’m not, though,” he said. “You’re sure?” “I’m not gay,” he said, looking confused. “Well, I’m just saying, you can tell me.” Bryan and I had been together for two months, and I sometimes asked him fun and engaging questions such as: “You’re […]

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Rapper T.I.’s Daughter Should Never Have Had a ‘Virginity Test’

The rapper and actor T.I. prompted widespread outrage after revealing on a podcast that he accompanies his 18-year-old daughter to a doctor’s appointment each year to insure that her hymen is still intact. Scientists have long condemned so-called virginity testing as a violation of a woman’s rights, as well as a sham procedure unsupported by […]

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Five Ways Fathers Can Develop Authentically Beyond the Workplace: Connecting within the Inner Circle

As fathers, if our time and commitment is slanted too far towards work, we miss opportunities to deepen our own perspectives and personalities. We may be missing the critical interactions within our inner circle that make us better in every role we inhabit. The inner circle provides a compass of time, energy, and commitment. Intuitively, […]

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Screen Use Tied to Children’s Brain Development

A new study using sophisticated brain scans found an association between screen use and the development of young children’s brains, especially in areas related to language development, reinforcing the messages about minimizing screen time for preschoolers. Let’s start with full disclosure: I know some of the authors of the research, which was published Monday in […]

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Owe Lunch Money? Don’t Plan on Going to Prom

A suburban New Jersey school system has wrestled for months with a problem common in other districts: an accumulating pile of student lunch debt. The policy in Cherry Hill already limited students who owed more than $20 to a tuna sandwich meal. Over the summer, the school board considered amending that policy and denying lunch […]

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When Your 200-Month-Old Can’t Sleep Through the Night

Sleeping through the night is a hot topic in pediatrics, so it was no surprise that there was a standing-room-only crowd for a lecture on it at the national conference of the American Academy of Pediatrics in New Orleans over the weekend. The speaker, Dr. Adiaha I.A. Spinks-Franklin, a developmental behavioral pediatrician, did her training […]

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Halloween Reminders for Parents of Anxious Children

If you are a parent of such a child, this isn’t new information. Nor is it new information that your child needs help to manage whatever is novel. But it is only human to minimize or forget at times, especially if we love Halloween ourselves; especially if the sensitive child has siblings who are excited […]

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“Affordable” Child Care Is a Failure of Imagination

Imagine if public K-12 education in America were no longer free, no longer a right. Parents would need to come up with tuition fees—an average of about $12,000 per child—or else figure out alternative arrangements. It would be chaos. Some parents would zero out their savings; others would leave the workforce to care for their […]

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