Tag: Marriage and Divorce

Making Christmas Merry for Children with Separated Parents

No matter how well the back and forth between houses goes all year, children are often worried about the parent they are not with on Christmas. They wonder what that parent is doing. They worry that the parent is sad without them. They feel guilty if they forget for a moment that mom or dad […]

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How Your Partner Can Control Your Brain 

Dominance vs. Balance in Relationships Ideally, friendships and intimate relationships are balanced so that both friends and partners have an equal say in decision-making. Overall, both individuals get their needs met. They each are able to assert themselves and negotiate on their own behalf. There is give and take and compromise. This is an interdependent […]

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7 Traits That Lead to a Long & Happy Marriage

If you’ve read up on a lot of relationship advice, you realize that there has always been a debate about whether it’s good to marry someone who’s totally the opposite of you versus someone who has a similar personality. In reality, the essence of your and your partner’s personalities don’t really matter in relationships. What […]

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How to Let Go of a Grudge

Ellen’s complaints include: “He doesn’t initiate sex, isn’t affectionate, and usually does nothing for my birthday, not even a card. Then once in a while, he gives me a costly gift, like a certificate for a $300.00 spa treatment.” She says she doesn’t want a divorce because of Cassie, their 3-year-old daughter. Although this article […]

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3 Key Ingredients for Mature Love

It’s understandable that we want to know what’s going on. It’s difficult to live with ambiguity and uncertainly. Unfortunately, what we often cling to is the conviction that there’s something wrong with our partner rather than turn the mirror around to explore how we might be contributing to the mess. Here are three key factors […]

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Fair Fighting Rules from a Marriage Therapist

Choose Your Timing Carefully The first rule of conflict: choose your timing carefully before starting a serious discussion. This may seem deceptively simple, but putting this into practice can prevent a conversation from becoming toxic. Think about how many times you’ve found yourself reacting because you weren’t in the right frame of mind… we’ve all […]

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Five Ways Fathers Can Develop Authentically Beyond the Workplace: Connecting within the Inner Circle

As fathers, if our time and commitment is slanted too far towards work, we miss opportunities to deepen our own perspectives and personalities. We may be missing the critical interactions within our inner circle that make us better in every role we inhabit. The inner circle provides a compass of time, energy, and commitment. Intuitively, […]

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How ADHD Can Hamper Sex—And How Both Partners Can Help

Sex also provides us with a pleasurable break from daily mundane tasks—like chores, bills—and complex matters—like parenting, he said. But for many couples where one partner has ADHD, the challenges of the disorder can hamper sex—and their relationship. Interestingly, the challenges that hamper sex don’t really have anything to do with sex. In fact, what […]

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Couples in Conflict: How She Sees It & How He Sees It

Let’s first focus on how women often view the problem: “They married and lived happily ever after.”  Though it’s the rare woman who would admit to believing in such a fairy tale ending, conflicts often originate and continue because she’s upset that the relationship has changed or it’s not the way it used to be. […]

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Married Doesn’t Mean Codependent: 10 Ways to Maintain Autonomy

Asking yourself, “Am I codependent?” means you’ve witnessed choices or actions you made that lead you to believe you’re behaving in an unhealthy manner. And now you want to know how to stop being codependent, either to fix your relationship, feel better about yourself, or just be happier and more confident in life overall. What […]

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Remember This Next Time You Fight with Your Partner

Of course, it may be true that you’re feeling hurt because your partner said something objectively hurtful. But consider that they may not be able to receive and process that comment, while they’re still feeling angry. And consider that your emotion of “hurt” may not be entirely their fault. In general, it can be dangerous […]

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Can You Marry with Confidence if You Marry Quickly?

Three years later, Marina was married. How did she go from being not-so-interested to taking the leap? Here’s her story: “My mom told my kids to pressure me to get married. She said that if I didn’t, I’d be on their backs all the time, because I’d be lonely,” Marina said. “I was lonely. I […]

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Creating Boundaries Without Being Bound by Them

Boundaries regulate how how responsive we want to be toward others. If a friend asks a favor, such a ride to the airport or a request to meet for lunch, we know that we have the right to say “yes” or “no.” Our caring prompts us to consider their request and take it seriously. Our […]

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How Complaining Destroys Your Relationships

Complaining to your partner automatically puts them in a position of needing to fix things or make them right in order for the complaint to be remedied. Even if there is no stated request to “fix this” (whatever this is), there is unspoken pressure exerted when one partner complains to the other. As time goes […]

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Do You Know Your Style of Passion?

In general, being involved with something you are harmoniously passionate about predicts higher well-being and greater resilience. Engaging in obsessive passion activities predicts just the opposite. In a recent study with his colleagues, Dr. Vallerand looked at another type of passion — the one between romantic partners. As it turns out, they found couples, too, […]

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