I’m a single mum on benefits but a secret sex addict – I see men as simply objects to turn me on & it’s ruining my life
A WOMAN has revealed that she is fighting a secret sex addiction that is ruining her life.
The mother, who confessed that she is single and on benefits, explained that she sleeps with two new people every week and sees men as nothing more than objects.
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Not only this, but the anonymous mum admitted that not only was she a sex worker in her teens, but she’s also had sexually transmitted infections too.
Keen to open up and seek advice, the mother took to social media to share her story, leaving many gobsmacked.
Posting on Mumsnet, the woman wrote under the username @Danielletracey and titled her post ‘Sex addiction – please I need help’.
She then explained: “Hello everyone, I’m finally at the point where I am willing to admit I have a problem with sex addiction.
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“I sleep with about two new people every week (for over a year) and it’s taking over my life.
“My sex also got more and more extreme and I feel shame next day.”
The mother confessed that things have gone to the next level in the bedroom, as she added: “I even let someone s**t on me and got very sick for days.
“I need more and more extreme things to get turned on.”
But unsure how to battle her addiction, she continued: “I am not very rich (single mum on benefits) to afford private therapy.
“Where to look for help. Any literature maybe? Abstinence (I tried and failed many times). Please any advice appreciated.”
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Not only this, but the mother also explained that she has always sought validation through intercourse, as she later confessed: “I’ve always been like this. I think I seek validation through sex.
“I started having sex and became sex worker at 16!
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“Now I’m a mum I’m a bit more careful, but I still go to strangers’ houses (people I met online just days prior) and are willing to do anything they ask me to (with condoms).
“But I ended up with a few little injuries and chlamydia during the past year.
I am at a point where I see men as objects – everyone is starting to feel the same/there is no connection with anyone
Mumsnet poster
“I’m just so exhausted but I can’t seem to stop.”
Despite her sexual activity, the mother was in a long-term relationship, as she highlighted: “I was in a relationship for three years.
Dealing with sex addiction
IF you, or someone you know, is dealing with a sex addiction, here’s everything you need to know…
Seek Professional Help: Consulting a therapist who specialises in sexual addiction can be very beneficial. Cognitive-behavioural therapy (CBT) and other therapeutic approaches can help address underlying issues and develop healthier coping mechanisms.
Join Support Groups: Connecting with others who are experiencing similar challenges can provide support and understanding. Groups such as Sex Addicts Anonymous (SAA) offer a safe space to share experiences and gain insights.
Set Boundaries: Establish clear boundaries to avoid triggers and situations that may lead to addictive behaviours. This might include limiting internet usage, avoiding certain places, or ending unhealthy relationships.
Develop Healthy Habits: Engage in activities that promote well-being and fulfilment, such as exercise, hobbies, or volunteering. These can help redirect energy towards positive outlets.
Mindfulness and Stress Management: Practices such as mindfulness, meditation, and yoga can help manage stress and reduce the urge to engage in addictive behaviours.
Education: Learning about sex addiction can help you understand your condition better and recognise patterns and triggers. Knowledge is a powerful tool in managing addiction.
Accountability: Having a trusted friend or sponsor to check in with can provide accountability and support. This person can help you stay on track with your recovery goals.
Avoid Isolation: Isolation can exacerbate addictive behaviours. Try to maintain social connections and seek out healthy relationships that offer support and companionship.
Set Realistic Goals: Recovery is a journey and setting small, achievable goals can help you stay motivated and track your progress.
Medication: In some cases, medication may be prescribed to help manage symptoms of sex addiction, particularly if there are co-occurring mental health conditions such as depression or anxiety.
“I definitely crave closeness with someone but it seems like I can’t give anyone a chance and just jump from person to person.
“Also I am at a point where I see men as objects – everyone is starting to feel the same/there is no connection with anyone.”
Mumsnet users react
Mumsnet users were left stunned by the woman’s admission and many flocked to the comments to share guidance and support.
One person said: “I am really very sad that you find yourself in this position.
Please call your GP and see what help there is, this is clearly a much deeper psychological problem
Mumsnet user
“I would suggest making an appointment with your GP and talking about it with them.”
Another advised: “Please call your GP and see what help there is, this is clearly a much deeper psychological problem that only someone of a professional nature, who has experience, can help you with.
“You can also call Sex Addicts Anonymous and see what help they can offer.”
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Whilst a third recommended: “Have a look at the Nelson Trust – they deal with all types of addictions.
“Be under no illusion there is a quick fix – it’s going to be a long hard road.”