How Older Daters are Coping With the Surge in S.T.I.s
Since her marriage of more than 20 years ended in divorce, Amy, a 62-year-old Texan, has had a couple of committed relationships and a handful of sexual partners.
Amy is currently seeing a man she described as a “friend with benefits,” but it’s nothing she takes too seriously. What she does take seriously is talking to him — and every partner — about safe sex practices amid rising rates of sexually transmitted infections in seniors.
“I’m very aware of it,” said Amy, who asked to use only her middle name to protect her privacy. “I require proof of negative testing before I become intimate with anyone.” She also insists on using a condom.
Between 2012 and 2022, rates of syphilis, gonorrhea and chlamydia more than doubled among those 55 and older, according to data from the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. Research suggests many older people are unaware of these risks, and that’s keeping them from adequate screening and practicing safer sex.
Joan Price, a sex educator who focuses on senior sexuality and who is the author of “Naked at Our Age: Talking Out Loud about Senior Sex,” said she was struck by the variety of reasons older daters may not practice safe sex, or even talk about it with partners.
She often hears some version of, “Oh, I can’t get pregnant,” she said, or “Our age group doesn’t get S.T.I.s.” Men have told her they were reluctant to talk about barrier methods of protection because their erections were unpredictable, and using a condom made them go away.