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DEAR DEIDRE: My wife cannot accept that there’s another woman in my life – my ex-wife. She hates her for no apparent reason and keeps threatening to leave me.

But my ex is great. She’s married another guy and there’s no love between us, just friendship – and our children.

I have to keep in contact with her because of the children and sometimes, childcare arrangements. We handle things really well.

My new wife is 31 and I’m 39. We have a little son of three months together and my other kids are eight and six. 

They love my wife and their little brother.

My new wife changed after I went to my eight-year-old’s birthday party at my ex-wife’s house.

My wife had just had our baby so she stayed at home. I was late home because I helped my ex and her husband clear up and we had a beer afterwards but when I got in, my wife was livid.

She told me that she doesn’t want me to go into their house again. She’s highly strung and it doesn’t take much to get her annoyed.

I’m nervous that she will leave me if I can’t make her see sense.

DEIDRE SAYS: She is feeling insecure which may be down to her feeling vulnerable as a new mum, hormones after giving birth, or the fact that she’s been cheated on in a previous relationship.

All you can do is keep telling her how much you love her and that your relationship with your ex is history but you keep things amicable for the sake of the children.

Suggest that you all go out together, somewhere neutral.  A trip to the park to watch the children play, where your ex and her husband are around to share the childcare may help your wife to see that she has nothing to worry about.

My support pack called Coping With Jealousy is full of good advice on how to handle these sorts of situations.