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Trigger Warning: This article contains mentions of sexual assault, rape and suicide.

Nearly one month after country music singer Jimmie Allen was dropped from one of the two sexual assault lawsuits lobbed against him, he’s speaking up and speaking out about how he’s been dealing in the interim and the dire lengths he almost went to ease his pain.

As previously reported by The Root, Allen was first sued back in May 2023 by his former manager who accused the singer of rape, sexual assault and harassment and alleged she’d been repeatedly sexually abused by him for 18 months. However, Allen claimed that the two shared a consensual relationship. In March 2024, Allen and his accuser finally reached an agreement and the suit was dismissed—though the same can’t be said for the managing company that hired the woman to be Allen’s manager.

Now in a new interview with Kathie Lee Gifford, Allen recalled his mental state while dealing with that lawsuit and revealed that he contemplated committing suicide because he couldn’t bear the pain. Describing the feeling that “the whole world collapsed” once the news of the suit came out, Allen said:

“The first thing my brain goes to is not the career. It’s, how am I going to provide for my kids? I had three [kids] then. I’m thinking to myself, how am I going to provide for my family? And then it hit me. My life insurance covered suicide. I don’t feel that way now, but in that moment, when you feel like you have nothing. In the midst of a society where it’s no longer innocent until proven guilty…She said this so it must be true.”

He went on to share how he went so far as to get a hotel room where began loading his gun but was abruptly stopped when he received a text from his friend Chuck Adams. Although Allen said he turned the notifications off on his phone, it was enough to keep him from seeing the text aler from Adams—which ultimately saved his life.

“He said, ‘Ending it isn’t the answer.’ And when I read those words that he texted me, I read them again. I just stopped,” Allen tearfully told Gifford. “I remember I called one of my buddies that lived in lower Delaware. He came up. I gave him my gun. I said, ‘Take it. I don’t need it.’”

The “Drunk & I Miss You” singer later said that he ultimately went to a retreat and began therapy in the aftermath.