USA News Hub

Already a full-time attorney licensed to practice law in two states, Cheslie Kryst was crowned Miss USA in 2019 at age 28. She also worked as a correspondent for the syndicated newsmagazine series Extra, a job which earned her an Emmy nomination.

On the outside, Kryst appeared to be a beautiful young woman with a promising future. But what her viewers and fans did not see was a young woman who battled depression and what she described as “ an unshakable feeling that I did not belong.” 

Kryst died by suicide Jan. 30, 2022 at the age of 30. In her new posthumous memoir, “By the Time You Read This: The Space Between Cheslie’s Smile and Mental Illness,” Kryst shares her experience dealing with the pressure of being in the public eye.

In an interview with PEOPLE, Kryst’s mother, April Simpkins, said her daughter’s last wish was to share her book with the world. Simpkins adds her perspective to the book, writing about what it was like to lose her child and how she has managed to cope in the aftermath.

Simpkins received a heartbreaking text message from her daughter on the morning of her death: “First, I’m sorry. By the time you get this, I won’t be alive anymore, and it makes me even more sad to write this because I know it will hurt you the most…”

“I knew it was important to share this,” Simpkins told PEOPLE. “I knew there are other people who felt what I was feeling and could relate.”

PEOPLE shared exclusive excerpts from the book, which releases April 23.

“Just hours after my win, I had to delete vomit-face emojis that a few accounts had plastered all over the comments on my Instagram page. More than one person messaged me telling me to kill myself,” Kryst wrote.

“All of this only added to my long-standing insecurities — the feeling that everyone around me knew more than I did, that everyone else was better at my job, and that I didn’t deserve this title. People would soon find out I was a fraud. I felt like an imposter, but not just in pageants.”

Proceeds from “By the Time You Read This” will go toward the Cheslie C. Kryst Foundation, which supports mental health programs for youth and young adults.

If you or someone you know needs mental health help, text “STRENGTH” to the Crisis Text Line at 741741 or visit crisis textline.org to be connected to a certified crisis counselor.