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Ah, the patisserie challenge tradition of googling what they’re making to ensure that I have got the spelling right. It’s financier with a French accent. Good to know.
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Key events
Scott Bryan
Matty is making financiers that contain tiramisu, coconut, mango and lime.
Ah, the return of the mango! Long-term readers of this liveblog will know this crisis well, but several years ago all the bakers were obsessed with using mango in their bakes, so much so that I made a video highlighting how many times it had been used.
we need to talk about how many mangoes there are on bake off this year #gbbo pic.twitter.com/xSCl1sCCxB
— Scott Bryan (@scottygb) November 3, 2020
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That video took me four hours and got six retweets. No wonder I was single then.
Scott Bryan
Josh is making raspberry and almond, and chocolate, orange and hazelnut financiers.
Prue to Josh: “How many Star Bakers have you won Josh.”
Josh: “One.”
Prue: “Today is your day to catch up to the others!”
Scott Bryan
Dan is now stirring what looks like green gloop from a horror film.
Dan is like: “I just don’t know what they have got against my ideas.”
Scott Bryan
Dan is making a Matcha infus-– OF COURSE HE IS.
Honest to God. This is what happens when we complement his surreal concoctions.
Scott Bryan
Financiers seem hard to crack, because they have to be light and moist at the same time (like me).
And, because it is Bake Off in 2023 and we’re not allowed nice things, they also have to highly decorate them to ‘take them to another level’ (like me).
Scott Bryan
Josh: “It’s very quiet in the tent.”
I think Josh is referring to the lack of other contestants there, rather than Alison.
The signature challenge is two batches of financier patisserie
Scott Bryan
Ah, the patisserie challenge tradition of googling what they’re making to ensure that I have got the spelling right. It’s financier with a French accent. Good to know.
Scott Bryan
Oh and Alison Hammond is poorly, so she won’t be here this episode.
Someone has got to say babes in her place, and I fear it’ll be me.
Scott Bryan
Tasha reflects on one of the good things about Bake Off: “I’m so proud at how far I’ve come. The confidence it has given me to believe in myself in such a short space of time is amazing.”
Scott Bryan
And Dan just said: “I want to go to the pub.”
DING DING DING DING DING! That didn’t last long!
Scott Bryan
Matty: “That looks like it comes from a prison shop.”
Do prisons have shops?
Scott Bryan
Narrator: “On last week’s Bake Off.”
Everyone looks stressed and completely miserable.
Alison in the tent: “This is the party that I want to be at.”
Scott Bryan
No unfunny skit this week! Now that deserves a party.
Scott Bryan
As always, here’s a recap of last week’s episode. Pass the (party) poppers.
Dan: Inevitably, he will say this episode that he wants to go to the pub. Don’t blame him.
Josh: His Christmas party week showstopper was so good it was ‘French bakery window display’ good. How on Earth did he manage to bake choux buns, macarons and Christmas puddings all at the same time?!
Matty: We all thought Matty was not going to get that far, considering that in cake week he curdled his buttercream three times. But he has been a knock-out these past few weeks, last week receiving the coveted Star Baker. Gosh, what a run.
Tasha: Made a chocolate caterpillar cake with the face of Noel Fielding. I’ve written stranger sentences in my professional writing career, but not many.
And we said goodbye to Cristy … she was a truly impressive baker, but it felt like the right time, simply because the standards of the final four are hard to beat. No doubt we’ll see her in the montage of other bakers at the final.
⭐STAR BAKER WATCH⭐ I cannot remember the last time we had such a level playing field heading into the semi-finals. Matty, Dan and Tasha all have won Star Baker twice, while Josh has won Star Baker once. Rather staggering Josh didn’t get Star Baker last week, to be honest.
Scott Bryan
Hello babes and welcome to the Great British Bake Off. And … it’s patisserie week!
Last week was party week (AKA British tapas week). Mostly this consisted of Prue recoiling at anything beige and Alison yelling “IT’S PARTY WEEK” while the bakers were flushed with stress hovering over multiple pans.
The winner of last week was not just Matty (who got Star Baker), but also the M&S legal department after the technical challenge consisted of a ‘chocolate caterpillar cake.’
This came after they all had to make sausage rolls, and Paul Hollywood moaned about all of the sausage rolls being dry. Paul, have you ever eaten one? The inability to breathe because your mouth is so dry is very much the point of a sausage roll.
And, because it wouldn’t be a week without Dan adding in some batshit ingredients into his bake for no reason, he put prawns into his sausage rolls. Thanks Dan. I’d rather die!