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Rudy Giuliani is guilty.

He’s so guilty that he just casually wears prison shoes in his everyday life.

Rudy Giuliani is so guilty that he apparently has a full head of hair but he wears it bald because he thinks it makes him look prison tough.

Giuliani is so guilty that he reportedly talked to President Trump about a preemptive pardon before the president leaves the White House.

That’s right, the president’s personal lawyer may be seeking a pardon for…who knows for what, but Giuliani has been ruthless in his attacks on Trump’s opponents and has been a My Cousin Vinny-esque bulldog in his attempts to undermine the presidential election.

According to the New York Times, it’s not clear whether the president or Gargamel (trying out prison nicknames for Giuliani) brought the topic up, but I’m sure there was a moment in the conversation where Rudimentary asked the president, “Sooo, umm…about all that illegal shit I did for you during your presidency…”

The Times notes that Notorious RG was under investigation as early as this summer for his business dealings in Ukraine and “his role in ousting the American ambassador there, a plot that was at the heart of the impeachment of Trump.”

Of course, Giuliani’s lawyer, Robert Costello, claims that his client ain’t worried bout nothing, “He’s not concerned about this investigation, because he didn’t do anything wrong and that’s been our position from Day 1,” the Times reports.

From the Times:

Such a broad pardon pre-empting any charge or conviction is highly unusual but does have precedent. George Washington pardoned plotters of the Whiskey Rebellion, shielding them from treason prosecutions. In the most famous example, Gerald R. Ford pardoned Richard M. Nixon for all of his actions as president. Jimmy Carter pardoned thousands of American men who illegally avoided the draft for the Vietnam War.

Mr. Trump has wielded his clemency powers liberally in cases that resonate with him personally or for people who have a direct line to him through friends or family, while thousands of other cases await his review.

Last week he pardoned his former national security adviser Michael T. Flynn broadly for potential legal troubles beyond the charge he had faced of lying to federal investigators. The move raised expectations that Mr. Trump will bestow clemency on other associates in his final weeks in office.

So we should all be prepared for Giuliani to be pardoned for crimes to be named later because, of course, Trump’s going to pardon him because why wouldn’t he?