Out come the stars! Maisie is wearing a great deal of rainbow fringing, and Jamie has embraced the 90s hip hop vibe. He looks like that episode of Friends where Joey puts on all his clothes. Am transfixed by Karen’s washboard abs, and Ranvir looks INCREDIBLE.
Out come the judges! Shirley’s scarlet dress is glorious. I’d forgotten about Anton.
TESS AND CLAUDIA DRESS WATCH: Tess in black spandex with weird thigh vents, Claudia in a leopard-print onesie. Okaaaay.
Bonus pro dance because it’s a pretend feem week. Already spotted some candyfloss and various other seaside tat, DRINK. Also bonus Bucks Fizz for a Eurovision twist.
Craig’s on a donkey. Drink everything.
And we’re off! Normally we’d be heading to Blackpool, and everyone’s sad they’re not going (drink). I’ve just realised that tonight’s bingo is absolutely savage.
I’ve turned the sound back on. The guys are actually pretty good, which is distracting my attention from Rochelle’s voluminous frock. I know she’s with child, I’m just jealous that a dress like that would make me look like a human yurt.
Am watching The Hit List with the sound off. It’s a good deal less hectic and stressful, although haven’t yet got to the bottom of why Rochelle is wearing an Angel Gabriel nativity outfit.
Tonight’s Strictly Come Bingo – LACKPOOL SPECIAL EDITION. A swing of something disappointing for any occurrence of the following:
- Extraneous seaside tat – kiss-me-quick hats, candyfloss, sticks of rock
- Anyone mentioning how gutted they are not to be in Blackpool this year
- Montages of people who live in Blackpool being sad
- A Lackpool ten
- CGI seagulls
Evening all, and welcome to this week’s Strictly Come Dancing liveblog! We’ve made to Week 5, which is the midway point for this year’s dance extravaganza. Ordinarily we’d been off to Blackpool tonight, but the Coronacoaster at the end of the pier has put paid to that. So instead they’re bringing Blackpool to Elstree for a Zone 6 suburban seaside special. Thank you for all your excellent suggestions for what we could call this arrangement – I think it has to be ‘Lackpool’.
Kick off tonight is at 7.15pm, so please join me then. Lacklustre dressing up is encouraged – maybe a feather boa that your dog has had a chew on, or some glittery shoes with a flappy sole. Bring some sub-par snacks and a bottle of wine you wouldn’t drink under any other circumstances and I’ll see you then!