GTFOH Trump Watch: Hey, Wisconsin, I’ve Got $3 Million. Can We Put the Vote Count on Layaway?

Illustration for article titled GTFOH Trump Watch: Hey, Wisconsin, I’ve Got $3 Million. Can We Put the Vote Count on Layaway?

Photo: Mark Wilson (Getty Images)

After being informed that Wisconsin didn’t have time for Trump and his mall lawyers’ fuckshit and that if he wanted the state to hold a recount it would cost a cool $8 million, Trump’s campaign has come up with a partial payment in hopes of a partial recount.

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According to Forbes, Trump’s campaign squirreled together some $3 million on Wednesday, asking for a partial recount in a state where “President-elect Joe Biden is the projected winner by more than 20,000 votes.”

And a recount most likely won’t change shit. But let Trump waste his followers’ money if that’s what he wants.

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Trump has requested recounts in “Milwaukee County and Dane County (home to Madison), two Democratic strongholds that his campaign claimed in a statement were home to ‘irregularities,’ without citing concrete evidence,” Forbes reports.

I would much rather Trump spend his followers’ money on Amazon.com, and shopping sites like the rest of us have been doing since the quarantine but whatever floats his boat, I guess.

Is It Too Late to Impeach Him Again?

So it seems Trump’s plan before leaving the house that Russia gave him is to royally fuck up America before being dragged out of the White House and placed in handcuffs by New York Attorney General Tish James. At this point, both Republicans and Democrats are wondering if the president has given up on leading the country while working on his current jobs: golfing and lying about the election.

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At this point, many on both sides of the aisle don’t know “if they can trust President Trump to sign legislation to keep the government funded and avoid a shutdown before the end of the year,” the Hill reports.

A government shutdown is looming and Trump’s busy running around crying into his KFC bag about the election being stolen from him. He still hasn’t conceded the election that only the president and his followers believe he won.

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From the Hill:

White House chief of staff Mark Meadows, who met with Senate Republicans on Wednesday, said the president wants to keep the government funded. But he’s not ruling out the possibility of a year-end shutdown.

“You can’t guarantee anything,” he said before adding, “It’s a high priority to make sure we keep our government funded.”

Both parties have reason to avoid a shutdown with two runoff elections in Georgia on Jan. 5 set to decide the Senate majority. Democrats would have to win both of the races to win the majority.

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What Democrats know and some Republicans have yet to admit is that the president is a petty, orange-tinted walrus who lives for drama. Do you really think he won’t just stop signing bills because he doesn’t feel like it? Might be time for crying Van Jones to make a call to his buddy and Trump’s son-in-law Jared Kushner to see if they can talk some sense into the old bitter loser.

Trump: Please Just Say I Won Pennsylvania?!

President Trump’s campaign filed another lawsuit (there should be a law, if there isn’t one already, that limits the number of frivolous lawsuits one can file because this is getting ridiculous) Wednesday, arguing that he should be the winner because he really wants to be the winner.

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Without any evidence or anything to substantiate Trump’s position, the lawsuit literally claims that he should be declared the winner because…well there is no because. He also thinks “the GOP-controlled state legislature should be given the authority to assign its electoral votes,” according to the Hill.

“The suit also argues that the campaign’s constitutional rights were violated because observers were not given adequate access as election officials processed mail-in ballots.”

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It’s all bullshit. An earlier version of the lawsuit was already dropped, and these newest filings argue that “1.5 million votes across the state ‘should not have been counted’ and that they led to ‘returns indicating Biden won Pennsylvania,” the Hill reports.

This would all be laughable if this wasn’t the president of the United States out here trying to manipulate the courts to hand him the presidential election that he lost.

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