Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. We’re all stuck at home at the moment, so here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.
Like ‘a Group Text to Bail on Happy Hour’
Trailing badly in the polls, President Trump on Thursday floated the idea of postponing the election (which he can’t do), claiming on Twitter that voting by mail would cause major problems (for which there’s no evidence).
With Universal Mail-In Voting (not Absentee Voting, which is good), 2020 will be the most INACCURATE & FRAUDULENT Election in history. It will be a great embarrassment to the USA. Delay the Election until people can properly, securely and safely vote???
— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) July 30, 2020
“It’s the presidential election. It’s not the release date for ‘Bill & Ted 3,’” Jimmy Fallon said on “The Tonight Show.” He compared Trump to “that friend who’s been crashing at your house for a while but keeps dropping hints he might need some more time.”
“If he can’t deny it, pretty soon he’ll be like, [as Trump] ‘Republicans should all vote on Nov. 3, but we’ll have Democrats vote at a later date T.B.D.’” — JIMMY FALLON
“Americans were like, ‘How long a delay are we talking about here? Months, like your response to Covid? Years, like your response to Putin? Or decades, like a hug for Don Jr.? Just give us a hint.’” — JIMMY FALLON
“I’m not even sure that Trump understands what an alarming proposal this is. Because this is basically the move of a dictator. Trump is just casually throwing it out there with a tweet with a bunch of question marks, like he’s in a group text to bail on happy hour. [as Trump] ‘Hey, y’all, Nov. 3rd’s not great for me — maybe we reschedule to 2021?” — TREVOR NOAH
“And by the way, media, yes, there are some Republicans saying the election will happen on time. Stop giving them credit for that. That’s not a courageous stand. It’s just the bare minimum. Just because the bar is all the way on the floor doesn’t mean we have to give them credit for stepping over it. It’s like if your burnout son gets an ‘F’ on a history final and you say, ‘Look who showed up and took the test. I’m so proud of you, Scooch!’” — SETH MEYERS
The Punchiest Punchlines (JetBlue Edition)
“So with the economy in crisis mode and deaths continuing to soar, obviously this is all bad for President Trump’s re-election hopes. And today, Trump came up with a brilliant new strategy for the election: Just don’t have one.” — TREVOR NOAH
“President Trump on Twitter this morning suggested postponing November’s presidential election, but just until the Republican Party can find a viable candidate.” — SETH MEYERS
“That’s right, Trump isn’t actually allowed to delay the election. Although not being allowed to do something has never stopped him before.” — TREVOR NOAH
“No, he can’t reschedule the election. For starters, both candidates are like 200 years old — I mean, we gotta keep things moving.” — TREVOR NOAH
“When they saw Trump’s tweet, JetBlue was like, ‘Trust us — when he says delayed, he means canceled.’” — JIMMY FALLON
“We’ll still have the election on Nov. 3, but he’ll probably just add a hundred days to August. And sure, maybe the court overturns it, but that might not happen until August 73rd.” — TREVOR NOAH
The Bits Worth Watching
Desus and Mero spoke with the sports reporter Taylor Rooks about life inside the N.B.A. bubble on Thursday night’s show.