Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell (R-Ky.) is confident he has the votes to block any witnesses from testifying in President Trump’s impeachment trial, “but here’s the thing: 75 percent of Americans support calling witnesses in this trial,” Stephen Colbert said on Thursday’s Late Show. The would-be star witness is former National Security Adviser John Bolton, whose forthcoming book reportedly details a first-hand account of Trump saying he was withholding $400 million in Ukraine military aid to force investigations of Democratic rivals — “a shocking revelation of something we’ve all known for months,” Colbert said.
Still, if he did testify, nobody knows what Bolton would even say, Colbert noted, so he had him (or at least Dana Carvey in a fake mustache) on “via live satellite” to ask. Carvey’s Bolton had a lot to say, very energetically.
Yes, “Capt. Cover-up Mitch McConnell is hoping to have it all wrapped up by tomorrow,” after having “done everything he can to kill this,” Jimmy Kimmel said on Kimmel Live. He ran through the reasons Senate Republicans say they are disinclined to call witnesses, mocking the idea that depositions would keep the Senate from working on other business. “Blockbuster Video has done more business than the Senate in the last three years,” Kimmel said. He illustrated why Bolton would make such a bombshell witness with a highlight real of Republicans saying “hearsay,” though “now they don’t want to hear what he has to say.”
“Eventually, we are going to hear from John Bolton, when his book comes out in March and he goes on TV to promote it,” Kimmel said. “And not only is he releasing that book, he’s also written a book for kids,” which Kimmel read. You can hear the dulcet rhymes of Bushy Bolton’s Bombshell below. Peter Weber