“Happy Martin Luther King Day, in which we honor Dr. King’s dream, 50 percent off at Nordstrom’s,” Stephen Colbert joked on Monday’s Late Show. He caught everyone up on the Rams-Saints game and a blatant foul that cost New Orleans the game, and “speaking of things that make you scream at your TV: Donald Trump,” he said, pivoting.
On Day 31 of the government shutdown, President Trump hasn’t forgotten about the 800,000 workers going without paychecks, but Colbert found his supportive tweet wanting. “They’re not volunteering to work for free,” he pointed out. “You might as well have tweeted: ‘THANK YOU, GREAT PATRIOTS! Please accept this Tweet in lieu of a paycheck. Quick tip: tell your landlord Mexico’s going to pay your rent.'”
But Trump did go on TV Saturday and “made an offer that he was sure everyone would love,” Colbert said. “In exchange for his border wall, Trump offered to restore DACA and TPS protections for three years — which is weird, since they’re protections that he himself took away.” Democrats “somehow did not fall for” Trump’s temporary hostage deal, he said, and in fact, House Speaker Nancy Pelosi (D-Calif.) “said no before Trump even asked — a move known in Washington as ‘The Melania.'”
On Jimmy Kimmel Live, Kimmel’s Abe Lincoln was joined by George Washington (Fred Armisen), Thomas Jefferson (Bobby Moynihan), and Teddy Roosevelt (Jeff Ross) on Mount Rushmore as a new face was added: Trump (Anthony Atamanuik). The former presidents wanted to know what Trump did to get on the monument. “I also ended slavery,” Kimmel’s Lincoln said. “That’s not true — I’ve been making a bunch of federal employees work for free for 31 days,” Trump said. And he also made some … changes to the treasured national park. Watch below. Peter Weber